Boredom Hits Its Upper Stages
by NixDucky
Summary: In which Michael and Lucifer pass the time in The Cage, with some help from Adam.


**AN: Happy Birthday Worm!**

**Another idea that popped into my head and had me giggling. And another one that qualifies as a real ficlet!**

**As this work is a gift for my usual beta, it has not been beta'd.**

"Man, this blows."

"How long has it been now, anyway?

Michael scratched his chin through his beard. The laws of the metaphysical world were ineffable. Why the hell should he be growing a beard? In Hell? He never had one in Heaven. _Maybe it's got something to do with me? _Adam suggested, uncertainly.

"Could be..." Michael wasn't convinced, though.

"Could be what?" Lucifer asked.

"Nothing. Adam," Michael said absentmindedly.

"Ah." Lucifer nodded. "You should've burned him out centuries ago, bro, like I did with Nick. At least I don't have to deal with a mud-monkey's inner voice for the rest of forever.

Michael shrugged. "I like his company. And the alternative is Eternity with only you. So, you know."

Lucifer thought about that. "Fair enough. So how long _has _it been now?"

Michael tried to remember. "Has to be… around eight hundred years? Something like that." He divided his beard into three strands and began working them into a braid. The beard was nearly at his knees now, so it should provide a few minutes distraction at least.

Lucifer was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall of The Cage. At Michael's estimation he slumped down a little. "I'm BORED!"

Michael looked up, fingers still busy braiding his beard. "I mean. We could fight? Haven't had a good fight in, oh, three centuries at least."

"Nah. I'm not in the mood. Anyway, it's not really much fun when there's never a winner, you know?

"Yeah," Michael agreed.

_What about… have you guys ever played games? Like, I dunno. Monopoly? Twister? That sort of thing? _

Michael stopped braiding and looked perplexed.

"What? What is it?" Lucifer asked.

"Adam is suggesting we… play. Games."

"Like Flay-The-Soul? Longest piece of unbroken soul-flesh wins?" Lucifer looked excited.

"Noooo…." Michael tilted his head to one side, listening. "It sounds like there are set games humans play. With rules and things." He shook his head a little. "Anyway, there aren't any souls in The Cage, moron. We're it."

Lucifer deflated. "Oh. Right."

After a beat, he asked, "Well? How do we play?"

Micheal looked surprised. "You want to play games?"

"I got nothing else going on. If it will pass the time for a hot minute, why not?"

"Huh. That's… unexpected."

_Yes! _

"So, how come, do you think, we could conjure up this mat and the spinner and stuff?"

Michael currently had one foot on a blue circle, the other on a green, standing over his brother whose body was twisted around Michael's legs, with a foot on a red circle and and a hand on a yellow. Michael was balancing precariously, his braided beard thrown over one shoulder.

"Uh…" Lucifer shifted a little trying to maintain his balance. "I have no idea. Maybe because we can't use it to escape? So no harm, no foul? I've never thought about it before. Maybe we could have been conjuring hookers in here the whole time."

Michael rolled his eyes at his brother while Adam read out the next instructions.

_Okay, Michael. Right hand, red. _

Michael looked down. "I'm not sure that's anatomically possible…"

"What?" Lucifer's voice drifted up from somewhere below him.

"Right hand, red," Michael repeated.

"Hmm," Lucifer looked around him at the mat. "You know, we probably don't actually have to keep the body together. We are supernatural beings, after all…"

"That would be cheating!" Michael gasped, at the same time as Adam hissed, _Swindler! _

"Hi," Lucifer held out his free hand to his brother, "My name's Satan. Good to meet you."

Michael swatted his brother's hand away. "We will stick to the rules. It'll make it more difficult, and keep us occupied for longer."

"Pfft. Fine. So, right hand, red. Go for it, big boy."

Michael was still strategizing and it took him a few eons before he bent down, stretched over Lucifer, snaked his right arm around his brother in a way that would probably have been physically… uncomfortable for a human, but was technically possible, and placed his hand on a red circle.

Lucifer hummed. "I'm not sure that strictly qualifies as playing by the rules."

"Oh come on. Any human could have done that," Michael sniffed.

"Sure, if they'd dislocated their shoulder first," Lucifer agreed.

Adam was already moving on to the next move. _Lucifer, left foot, green. _

"Left foot, green." Michael nudged Lucifer with a knee.

It was silent in The Cage for a moment and then Michael cleared his throat. "You just made that leg longer."

"So, smite me," Lucifer smirked. "Humans grow, like, all the time."

"Hmf," Michael huffed.

_Left hand, green, _Adam instructed.

"This is going to end badly," Michael stated, before trying to bend his spine in a way that definitely would have killed Adam had they been top-side.

_Hey! _Adam yelled.

"Hey!" Lucifer said indignantly, just before a loud "OOMPH" escaped from him as his baby brother collapsed on top of him, an elbow jabbing his more delicate areas.

"Sorry, sorry," Michael apologised as he extricated himself from his brother's limbs.

Lucifer just squeaked a little and curled into the foetal position.

Michael sat on the floor watching his brother recover. His beard braid was coming undone, so he spent a little time attending to that.

_Sooo… should we try Monopoly next? _Adam suggested.


End file.
